Just felt the urge to write something and I am still in planning for the actual story for Seliile, what was going on in the head of Ms. Decille during her last days with the living.
“The Diary of a Dead Woman can shed light into such pain”
“The Diary of a Dead Woman can shed light into such pain”
Almost a full moon
Going to the swamp
The late night shift of watch duty is incredibly lonely. Clayrion and Talia get as far away as possible from each other and make no noise at all. The only familiar sound is the squeak of the little guy snoring while he hugs his ax. Cute little guy, so sweet when he is calm.
I may not be the smartest person in this world, perhaps on the lower side of average, but I don't see the harm in writing to pass the nights. I would blush up completely red if Clayrion or Talia saw this book though. They think I am a brute, and they're right. But if they saw this, I would not be seen the same way, even if it would make our friendships better. I am not making friends right now and I wish I could stop all of this and just be a woman. I am however a warrior, no time for a life.
Something tells me that Decessus is paying attention to this, and just got a huge smile across her face with that last sentence.
Closing in on a full moon
Just outside of the swamp
We just got here. I am so worried. Decessus seems afraid of this person we have been told to take down, Clayrion is a mess, Talia never talks, and bless his heart, Vli misses his little Alex. They do make a very sweet couple. She is a character and he is delusional but such a perfectly nice man...
I am worried about us all, this forced quest has been so horrible.
I am so sick of seeing my friends...my sister, even my enemies... why can we not just die in PEACE!?
I am sick of dying.
I am sick of being brought back only to be the puppet of the goddess of death
Nights like these, I really can't help but wish I was just left to be judged by fortune and finally get rest...I can't even get any rest in death thanks to this quest.
I have lost my sister by my own blade as she was carrying my niece or nephew. Then we had her soul pushed back into her body... I deserve it if she actually does just kill me, but knowing my life I will just be brought back to be a puppet once more.
I want rest
I want sleep
I want peace
Full Moon
At an Inn in the swamp city.
Wow, I thought Decessus was afraid, the people of this village are on a different level. We met a friend of Vli out here, a strange little necromancer named Claire who is very nice in her own right. Vli knows a lot of wonderful and unique people.
So much fear for us just talking about what has happened in the past for people who have sought her kill. This woman's victims are not killed, but the very essence of the person is removed... I saw the fear and disgust in the faces and eyes of the others..sadly for me...it sounded nice... I am going to try and get us all to leave any valuables here, with Claire including this diary, so if the worst happens, at least somebody can know how life on strings being held by death is affecting me...the freakishly strong girl who only wanted to help her near adopted brother.
You get killed one time, get brought back, you are happy to be alive, being a puppet seems okay for life.
You get killed again, immediately after you just impulsively stabbed the heart of your pregnant sister, only for you both to come back, one stricken with tears and once more a puppet, the other too weak for anything other than hatred...
My dreams are even being haunted by Decessus or Adelle. One woman want's me dead more than anything in this world, the other demands I am alive for her goal of regaining her stance as a true goddess.
In a strange way, death scares me more than most people. If I die, I can't rest in the afterlife. Decided by my gods, I am tortured as a failure until Decessus wants me back on this world for her reasons...if soulless is how my life eventually and mercifully ends, perhaps that isn't so bad.
I am a class act, yet I am a brute
I am petite, yet I am freakishly strong
I am alive in body only
I have torn out many entries in this diary. I will keep them with me for now. I will rush in headstrong, like I always do against intimidating targets. Wanting to protect who I love, but wanting to be free at the same time.
If I am gone as this is read by non-Decille eyes I hope that it is not read by Clayrion. Clayrion also needs to be free, not like he would understand my feelings.
I'm sorry I failed you all.
Father
Mother
Brother
...Sister
Adelle was right, I should have stayed with Mother.
I hope you can grow to forgive me, for I have not.
-Anette Decille
